


All Grown Up

by legallyblained



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, daddy!klaine, verse: all grown up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2043984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legallyblained/pseuds/legallyblained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This isn't really a story so much as a verse - Kurt, Blaine, and their two kids, Alex and Sophie. I thought I'd just put all these little snippets into one fic, but they're not in chronological order or anything, just kind of screenshots of them as a family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So this is your house?”

“Yeah,” Alex shrugs one shoulder as he walks Celia into the kitchen, their fingers locked. “It’s usually a little louder than this, but Sophie’s at a sleepover and my dads are still at work. We’ve got it all to ourselves.” He grins a little and kisses her, both of them tensing up a little. Their plans aren’t exactly concrete; they’d agreed to just see how things went, but they’ve both brought protection. Just in case. They pull apart, a little flushed and breathless, and she swallows and glances around the room before walking into the living room.

“Aww, is this them?” she asks, her voice a little higher-pitched than usual, picking up a photograph. He smiles and follows her, perfectly happy just to spend the afternoon hanging out together.

“Yep. I mean, it’s not like we just have pictures of other dudes making out on our coffee table.” He notices her eyes narrow as she glances at the picture and then back at him. “It’s him,” he says, pointing at Kurt. “Check out the eyes.”

She grins and nods.

“I was wondering. Not that it matters. I mean, they’re both your- it’s just, like, biology anyway. Who cares?”

“Don’t worry. It’s cool. Do you, uh- want a drink?”

She bites her lip and shakes her head, standing on tiptoe to kiss him again, smoothing her hands over his school blazer. His slide down to rest on her hips, and she giggles.

“Sorry-”

“Oh- should I not have- oh, God, am I being too forward? I’m so sorry, I just- I’m nervous-”

“Woah, woah, Alex,” she brushes his fringe out of his eyes, “you’ve put your hands on my waist before. It’s anything but creepy.”

“Yeah, right, it’s just- now we’re- here. At my house.”

“Uh-huh. Your house. Do you know where I’d like to be?”

He frowns.

“Where?”

“Your bedroom.”

His eyebrows shoot up and his mouth falls open slightly, and he grins almost giddily as she takes his hand and heads for the stairs.

There’s a creak. They both freeze halfway up the staircase.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know. Everybody’s supposed to be out.”

They hear a laugh and frown at each other, puzzled, then there’s a groan. Then a louder one.

“Oh no.”

“Is that your dad?”

Alex screws his eyes closed.

“It’s one of them.”

There’s another moan, slightly lower.

“And that’s the other one.”

Alex feels significantly less in the mood than he did a minute ago.

“Oh, cool! I want to meet them! Let’s go say hi!”

“No-no-no-” he tries to stop her but her hand has slipped out of his and she’s bounding up two steps at a time. “Celia, wait, you don’t wanna-”

She puts on a light, breezy smile as she pushes open the door to the room with the voices, but Alex catches up just in time to see it disappear.

“Oh! Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” She backs out and stops on the landing, hands over her eyes. “They’re- they, um. Oh my God.”

“I tried to warn you. God, babe, I am so sorry you had to see that.”

“No, I’m-” she can’t finish the sentence. She stands swallowing for a moment.

“Sorry!” a voice shouts from the bedroom, “We didn’t think anyone would be here!”

“Alexander, you are _supposed_ to be at school!”

Alex pulls an indignant face and storms into the bedroom, not caring what he sees – it’s nothing he hasn’t walked in on before.

“And _you’re_ supposed to be at work! At least I had a free period! What’s your excuse?”

Blaine bites his lip. Kurt’s already standing, face bright pink, pillow over his crotch, and Blaine scrambles up next to him, dragging the sheet with him and wrapping it clumsily around his waist.

“Well, sometimes we just- both take the afternoon off and-”

Alex makes a weird noise.

“Aaaahhhh bleaurgh no no don’t wanna hear it oh my god oh my god YOU ARE ADULTS oh god just- just-”

“Honey, sex is completely natural,” Kurt assures, “it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“IT IS WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND WALKS IN ON YOU.”

“Girlfriend?” Blaine asks, eyes wide. “That’s Celia? We finally get to meet the famous Celia?” He starts to make his way to the door, but Alex (already taller than him) holds an arm out.

“Not until you put some clothes on. Both of you. Now.”

Blaine’s head falls, trying desperately to keep the smirk off his face.

“Right. Sorry. Sorry, Celia! We’ve heard so much about you!” he calls out. Alex breathes very slowly.

“Dads. Clothes. Please.”

He turns and walks out, taking Celia’s hand and walking her back downstairs without a word. Her hand is over her mouth now, her eyes wide and her shoulders shaking a little as she tries not to laugh.

“Alex, babe, it’s really fine.”

“No it’s not. They’re so fucking embarrassing.”

“Honestly, I was kind of impressed. I mean, they’re in their forties and still pretty flexible-”

“Oh my god-”

They reach the ground floor and she can’t stop herself from sniggering.

“Sorry. But it bodes pretty well for you, if you think about it.”

Alex wrinkles his nose, another similarity between him and the picture of his father. It makes her smile.

“I have. Literally. No idea how what just happened can possibly be construed as being a good thing.”

“You told me they’ve been together for over twenty years. If they’re still that crazy about each other- I just think you’ve got a pretty good example being set for you right there. It’s something to aim for.”

He’s still not quite smiling, but the revulsion has died down a little. He links their fingers together.

“Twenty years, huh?”

She shrugs.

“Who knows? Although, I should probably take up yoga or something. There’s no way I’d be able to get my legs that far back-”

“Gross. So gross,” he says, dropping her hand and getting a soda from the fridge as she cackles, practically doubled over.

“Babe, I know he said clothes, but- we could still- you know…”

“Blaine! No-” he’s interrupted by his husband’s mouth on his neck, “I, hmmm… I guess… no! Honey, Alex just brought his first girlfriend home. We’ve got some serious embarrassing to do.”

“Kurt, I think he’s already maxed out.”

“Yeah, okay, but I still want to meet her. Dressed. I promise we can finish this later.” Blaine beams and pulls his shirt on.

“Are we allowed in?” Kurt asks from the other side of the living room door.

“Only if you’re wearing pants.”

“We promise.”

“Enter.”

They step inside cautiously, slightly forced smiles on their faces.

“You must be Celia,” Blaine says, hand outstretched. “It’s lovely to meet you at last. I mean, properly.”

“You too,” she says, shaking both Kurt and Blaine’s hands enthusiastically. “Not that I minded that. I’m totally cool with it. With your whole thing.”

“Which thing?” Kurt asks, brow furrowed with fake offence.

“Oh god, nothing. I just meant- god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Kurt, you butthead, don’t be cruel. Sweetie, it’s fine. So, what are you two doing home so early? Hope you weren’t planning the same thing as us, eh?” he nudges Alex and winks. Alex and Celia tense up a little.

“Not necessarily, I mean, we just- had homework to do. Lots.”

“Okay. Good. Homework is good,” Kurt says, voice threatening to crack into a snort, “I hope our little display didn’t freak you out, Celia.”

“ _God_ , no. It was impressive.”

She claps her hand over her mouth again. Alex can’t help but feel a little smug that he’s not the only one who’s mortified. Kurt and Blaine grin and give each other a high-five.

“Thanks,” Blaine says, “well now that we’re all here and suitably not in the mood, how about we go and cook dinner. Celia, how do you feel about enchiladas?”

“She loves them,” Alex replies for her, suspecting she won’t be up to talking for another couple of minutes. She can’t quite bring herself to look at them and chooses to bury her face in Alex’s shoulder instead. Kurt and Blaine smile at them and make a swift exit, closing the door behind them. They can’t help but catch a glimpse of the way he looks at the girl, a warm smile playing on his lips.

“I like her,” Blaine says as he reaches for the tortillas. “She seems sweet.”

“Not as sweet as you,” Kurt responds, taking a moment to wind his arms around Blaine’s waist and kissing the back of his neck, “but yeah. She’s lovely. Did you see Alex’s face just now?”

“Mhmm. Gave me high school flashbacks.”

“Gave me ten-minutes-ago flashbacks.”

Blaine glances to the side at the mirror on the wall so he can see Kurt without turning around. They smile softly, easily at each other. They’d joked about being embarrassing dads, but neither of them had seen this coming. Even though they probably should.

“We’re gross.”

“The worst. Now,” he adds with a slap to Blaine’s ass, “get moving with my dinner or I won’t finish what I started.”

Blaine pouts for a second before the smile comes back.

“What I let you think you started. Go chop some peppers.”


	2. The F Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super gross feelings inspired by [this picture](http://legallyblained.tumblr.com/post/53665292217). Way back when Alex is just a baby.

Something feels off. Blaine keeps blinking as he tries to figure it out, what feels different, why the room seems a little strange, and just as he lifts his head up, he realises.

This is the first time in weeks he hasn’t been woken up by screaming.

For half a second it makes him panic - if Alex isn’t crying, something must be wrong - but he glances at the clock and sees that it’s only 2:45. The baby won’t wake up until 3. This is just the first time Blaine’s beaten him to it.

Normally he would force himself back to sleep, try to soak up every minute of silence he can, but it’s Sunday. He’s got all day to sleep, but only a few more minutes of his two favourite boys snoring and drooling and looking painfully beautiful.

He leans over to kiss Kurt on the cheek, and Kurt instinctively tries to follow the warmth hovering over him, but ends up nuzzling into his pillow, smacking his lips and letting his mouth hang open again, a crease on his cheek and a bundle of bedding squeezed in his arms as a Blaine substitute. Blaine grins at him, before silently standing up and padding to the foot of the bed where the crib is.

He’s still not used to the way his heart swells with warmth when he sees the baby. Just hearing those soft breaths and seeing his tiny fingers clench around nothing makes Blaine want to melt, want to burst into a thousand fragments of pure love. Every time he’s tried to have a conversation with anyone in the last few weeks, he’s ended up clumsily turning it into another ‘babies wow look at this picture of my baby my husband and i have a baby and he’s so perfect’ talk, and he knows it’s annoying but he doesn’t care. Even when he’s been woken up at 3am every morning for weeks, he hasn’t stopped smiling once.

He scoops the baby out carefully, determined not to let him wake up any earlier than necessary. He’s just had an idea.

"Morning, baby," he whispers, cradling Alex close as he gets his camera, "now please, pretty please, just give me a couple more minutes. Just do this one thing for your daddies, okay buddy?"

He drops the camera when he tries to shift the baby onto his other arm and winces, praying that he hasn’t woken anyone up. He warily opens one eye, looking at Kurt and the baby in turn. Both still asleep. “Phew,” he breathes out. “Okay, let me just-” He lies Alex down next to Kurt, nestled in his own chunk of the duvet. He picks up the camera for a moment, switching it on and aiming it at the bed, framing the two figures, their matching open mouths, matching cheeks smushed into white linen, but he’s interrupted by small footsteps in the doorway.

He looks up to see a ball of fuzz trotting towards him, still dozy, but happy as always to see Blaine.

"Okay, you can be in it too," Blaine whispers, picking Pepper up in one hand and laying him gently on Kurt’s hip. Kurt stirs, but only for a second. He’s trained himself to sleep through anything but crying. Blaine smiles with relief. The dog is thoughtful enough to keep fairly still, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he drifts off again. Blaine has to bite his lip to stop himself from giggling at the sight of his family, small and sleepy and perfect (if a little hairy and drooly). He picks up the camera again, slipping a hand under Alex’s head, both to support it and to make him match Kurt even more, and clicks.

The click wakes Alex.

The crying wakes Kurt.

"I’ve got it, s’okay, m’up," he mutters as he heaves himself up without opening his eyes. Blaine lets him walk toward the crib and reach into it before realising it’s empty. "Alex? Blaine, where did you put the baby?" he mumbles, eyes still half-closed. He looks over to where Blaine’s kneeling by the bed, picking Alex up to shush him. He spots the camera left on the bed and frowns. "Blaine. Camera. Dog on the bed. What."

The dog supposedly wasn’t allowed in the bedroom - a rule that was almost always ignored.

"Um. I definitely wasn’t taking a picture of the three of you. Would that be creepy?"

Kurt sticks his hand out, almost squashing the dog as he flops back onto the bed on his stomach.

"Depends on the picture. Gimme."

Blaine sheepishly hands it over, clutching the baby closer so Kurt can’t get angry with him.

"I just- I thought you looked cute-"

Kurt’s eyes narrow as he stares at the tiny screen, his eyes struggling to focus in the dim light of the early morning.

"Is that- am I drooling? Blaine!"

Kurt wipes his jaw with his wrist, and Blaine shushes him quickly.

"No, you can’t yell- the baby-"

"The baby’s already awake, Blaine."

"I just wanted a picture of my family."

Kurt inhales to argue, but he breathes it out again, an attempt at a glare on his face. They were both susceptible to the ‘F’ word.

"Cheap shot, Anderson."

"Anderson-Hummel. Family. You know, he looks just like you there."

Kurt can’t help smiling at that, and Blaine beams back, knowing he’s won this one.

"Fine. I won’t delete it. But nobody else sees this, okay? And… you have to make me breakfast."

"Okay. Blueberry pancakes?"

"I will accept nothing less. Now hand him over." Blaine grins, easing the baby into Kurt’s arms and kissing both of them on the cheek. “Oh, honey, isn’t Daddy creepy?”

A couple of weeks later, on Kurt’s day with Alex, he drops by Blaine’s school to pick him up. A couple of the kids say ‘hello, Mr Kurt’ on their way out and he grins at them, making Alex wave hello, and they giggle.

"Hey sweetie," Blaine says, tidying away the last of the art supplies from the afternoon then going to kiss Kurt quickly. "How are my boys this afternoon?"

"We’re good; we went to see Grandpa Burt today, didn’t we honey?"

Alex doesn’t respond, simply letting his head flop from one side to the other as he gets passed from one father to the other. Blaine presses a kiss to the light hair dusting his head.

"Lucky Burt," Blaine whispers, "I missed you both so much." He starts mumbling incoherent baby talk and blowing a raspberry on Alex’s cheek. Kurt starts looking at Blaine’s desk, and Blaine tries to take his hand. "Hey, let’s go home. I’m exhausted."

"Blaine-"

"I’ll make dinner tonight, yeah? You wanna the pizza Mister Kurt?" He puts on a terrible Italian accent to try and distract him, but it doesn’t work.

"What is this picture doing here?"

"Um… What picture?"

"Oh, Blaine, you are so busted!" He says playfully, pinching Blaine’s arm, but he keeps staring at the picture. His smile is soft and Blaine could swear his eyes are watering.

"Kurt? Are you okay? If it bothers you that much, I’ll-"

"No, no, I-" He takes a deep breath and clears his throat, "It’s okay. Just-" He can’t quite say it right - how he still can’t believe it. That of all the photos on Blaine’s desk, this is at the front: him looking so gross and stubbly and messy, drooling, just him and their baby and their stupid fluffball of a dog in a heap on their bed - he can’t stop smiling.

This is how much Blaine loves him. This is how perfect their family is, so comfortable and intimate and safe. He just can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed or annoyed. He just feels completely content. He’d be happy for the whole world to see this, never mind a class of five-year-olds. “Let’s go home, Blaine.” Blaine smiles and takes Kurt’s hand, kissing him again more slowly before they leave.

It doesn’t matter anyway. Kurt’s got a photo of Blaine and Alex asleep on the couch at his office. At least in Blaine’s photo, Kurt isn’t topless.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie gets her first period.

Sophie had been dreading this. She’d heard horror stories from girls in her class of public disasters and red versions of Niagara Falls and crippling cramps, but it wasn’t quite that bad. It was just waking up at 2am feeling a bit weird and realising her sheets were stained. It was a perfectly normal thing to go through and she’d done the research for herself so she knew the science behind it, but she hadn’t found out what to do.

She didn’t know how to work the washing machine. She didn’t know how to use tampons or sanitary towels or anything. She didn’t even think there were any in the house. Why would there be? She was the only one who would need them, and as far as anyone knew she didn’t have any use for them yet. She wanted to Call Grandma Carole or Aunt Rachel, but even though she knew they would rush over in a heartbeat she couldn’t bring herself to wake them up at 2am.

There were only two people she could really talk to, and if it had been about anything else, she wouldn’t have minded, but she had to go and tell her dads that she’d started her period and ask them what to do, knowing they’d probably be as clueless as her.

The best parenting in the world didn’t make it any easier for a fourteen-year-old girl to discuss with her fathers the fact that there was blood coming from her genitals.

She changed into clean pyjamas, including the top even though she didn’t need to, because she wanted them to match. She took the sheets off her bed and bundled everything together so the blood wouldn’t be visible and stuffed it all in her laundry basket. She took a deep breath and pushed her dads’ door open timidly.

"Dad?"

Theirs heads didn’t move from their pillows, but they both mumbled a sleepy ‘Hmm?’

"I, um… I have a problem."

Blaine pushed himself up onto his elbow, rubbing his eyes but looking concerned. He reached clumsily behind him to switch his light on. Kurt flinched and buried his face in his pillow, but was the first to come out with actual words.

"What’s wrong, honey?"

She’d heard his muffled pillow voice enough times to be able to understand him.

"Well, it’s, um… a girl thing. The girl thing. I just woke up, and, uh… yeah.”

The penny dropped for both of them at the same time.

"Oh. Okay. We, um, we have stuff…" They’d been prepared for ages. They’d spoken to Rachel. They’d practised the speech and bought everything she could possibly need and they were going to talk to her over a year ago but it was so much easier to put it off. Kurt slid out of the bed and walked over to Sophie, smiling in the most comforting way he could. They all knew this was going to be awkward, but they had to pretend it wasn’t.

"My sheets… they’re in my basket-"

"No problem; I’m on it," Blaine piped up, climbing out of bed and staggering into her room, eyes still not opening properly.

Kurt put his hands on Sophie’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head as he walked her to the bathroom. He opened the cabinet and got everything out, laying it on the floor and sitting cross-legged in front of it. Sophie sat opposite him. They both took a deep breath.

"Right. Any ideas?"

"None."

"I’ll tell you one thing, Soph; I don’t envy you. Do you feel like crap?"

She shook her head.

"Not yet. I mean, kind of gross, but no cramps or anything."

There was a pause. They looked at one another for a few seconds then burst out laughing.

"Isn’t this supposed to be really awful? Aren’t you supposed to be all secretive and embarrassed and ashamed of your uterus?"

She snorted and shrugged.

"I guess you shouldn’t have been such a good dad. Then maybe I’d push this conversation on someone else and you wouldn’t have to deal with it."

"Damn; I knew I was going to regret being so great. OK, let’s try and figure this out."

Five minutes later, Blaine traipsed back up the stairs and was about to fall back into bed when he heard Kurt and Sophie laughing hysterically in the bathroom. He stumbled across the still-dark landing to where the noise was coming from and walked in on his husband and daughter cackling on the bathroom floor. Sophie was sticking a sanitary towel to Kurt’s arm, adding to the several already covering his pyjamas. Blaine cleared his throat and Kurt turned to face him with a tampon up each nostril. He raised an eyebrow.

"I have to say, this isn’t the uncomfortable talk I was expecting."

"I was just demonstrating the, uh, the…"

"Apparently they’re really useful for stopping nosebleeds. It was in Sex and the City."

Kurt whipped his head around.

"You’ve seen Sex and the City?"

"If it’s any consolation, I’m not going to turn into Samantha any time soon."

"Okay. Just don’t be Charlotte."

"Dad, you’re kind of a Charlotte."

"Maybe. At least my husband has hair."

Blaine chimed in.

"I don’t remember Charlotte covering herself in feminine hygiene products. I don’t want to ruin the bonding session, but we need to go back to bed. Let me just-"

He sat down between Sophie and Kurt and grabbed Kurt’s arm.

"So, let’s pretend your dad’s arm is underwear."

"Wow. I never thought I’d hear you say that."

"I’m not the one with tampons up my nose. Be quiet."

Kurt bit his lip so he wouldn’t laugh. Sophie was frowning.

"How come you know how to do this?"

"I did my research. I’m a lot more responsible than you think. So, you’ve done this right already. Now you just need to pull off this part and fold these bits under here to avoid any… problems. Does that make sense?"

Sophie nodded.

"I think so."

"As for the tampon thing, there’s a limit to what I can tell you. Although I know for a fact that they don’t go up your nose."

Kurt discreetly pulled them out and tossed them in the bin.

"There’s instructions in the box and I’ve printed you off a tonne of stuff I found online, and you can always ask Rachel. I think she’s dying to give you the talk actually, if you don’t start asking her stuff she’ll tell the boys instead. You’ll be saving them a lot of awkwardness."

"Gotcha. Rachel, internet, instructions. Seems easy enough."

"Now, your dad and I are going to leave you to it so we can all get some sleep. But first I think you should practise removing the application."

"What?" Kurt’s eyes widened.

"Good point. Best to be thorough."

"Exactly. Brace yourself, honey."

"Oh, no, wait-"

Sophie grabbed the towel which was stuck to Kurt’s forearm, the only one on bare skin instead of fabric. Blaine and Sophie counted down together.

"3… 2… 1…"

“Ow!”

"Don’t be such a baby. Or just don’t stick stuff to your arm. Come on." Before he got up, he leaned over and kissed Sophie on the head. "I’m really glad you came to us, sweetheart. I know it’s a little…"

"It’s really not. My friends can’t even have this talk with their moms; I think I’m pretty lucky."

Kurt and Blaine grinned simultaneously.

"Not as lucky as us. Love you, Soph."

She rolled her eyes.

"Love you too. Now go to bed, both of you. I’m fine. You might want to be careful tomorrow though, or I’ll probably rip your heads off. Night."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie and Blaine have a fight. Discussion of rape culture and 'you shouldn't be wearing that' type ideas.

Blaine’s hands were shaking, clenched into fists. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this frustrated before. Sophie stood in front of him, matching his expression, the picture of defiance. They never really fought, and he didn’t want to fight now, but every book said that he should be consistent. Stick to his guns. Even if he was starting to feel like he might be wrong.

“You sound like a caveman! I’ll dress how I want to dress!”

“But it’s freezing outside!”

“The party’s indoors, Dad. This has nothing to do with me being cold, and you know it.”

His jaw tightened.

“But honey, people could- they might-”

“What? They might what, Daddy? Get the wrong idea? They might make assumptions about me? God, you’re supposed to be cooler than this.”

“I don’t care about cool. I care about you. You don’t know what could happen if you go out wearing that-”

“So if something happens to me, it’s my fault? Because of my skirt?”

“No, Soph-”

“Let me ask you one question. Would you say any of this to Alex?”

She had him.

“I- that’s different.”

It was as if the words were floating out just in front of him in slow motion, and he couldn’t grab them back in time. He’d fucked up. She just stared at him for a moment, air of rebellion fading away, replaced by watery eyes and pursed lips and a look that said he’d hurt her. He knew better than this.

“I thought- I thought you got it. You said nobody has a right to hurt me, no matter what. What’s changed? Why am I in trouble because boys can’t- because some asshole might- god, forget it. You act like you’re all modern or whatever, but you’re just the same as everybody else.”

“Sophie, I-”

He tried to take her hand but she flinched away.

“No. You’re the worst dad ever. I wish you’d never adopted me.”

She grabbed her jacket and bag from the rack and before Blaine could say anything else, the door was slammed shut.

***

Kurt got home to find Blaine curled up on the couch, nursing a pint of chocolate ice cream. Well, half a pint now. He turned to look up at him, red eyes and wet cheeks. He immediately sat down, gathered his husband into his arms and opened his mouth expectantly. Blaine popped a spoonful of ice cream between Kurt’s lips.

“Mmm. The good stuff. It must be serious.”

“She hates me.”

“Who? I’ve been telling you for years, Santana’s like that with everyone, you can’t take it seriously-”

“Sophie. Sophie hates me.”

“Sophie adores you.”

“That’s not what she said an hour ago. Kurt, we’ve never fought like that. I was such an asshole. I don’t blame her for hating me. I hate me too. Fuck.”

Kurt put the ice cream down so he could pull Blaine closer and wipe a tear from his cheek.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I just don’t want her to get hurt. That’s good, isn’t it? Kurt, I want to protect her because I’m her dad, and now I’ve- I said- I said something about her clothes.”

“You should know better than to question the fashion sense of a sixteen-year-old girl. Especially when that fashion sense has been carefully nurtured by me since she was born,” he added, squeezing Blaine’s shoulder.

“It wasn’t- I told her not to wear such a short skirt.”

“Oh. _Oh_.”

“And she was right; I wouldn’t say that to Alex. I do treat him differently – I tell him to treat people with respect, and that no means no, not that he needs to hear it – but not all boys are like him. There are awful people out there, Kurt, and I just want- I want her to be safe. That’s all I ever want.”

“Oh, Blaine. I know that. She knows that. But what kind of message does it send if-”

“Don’t you think I would rather just go and give speeches to everybody she might come into contact with, teach them about responsibility and consent and right and wrong? I can’t talk to all of them. I can only talk to her and try to make sure she’s safe.”

“Babe, we’ve done so much to keep her safe. We’ve raised a strong, independent, passionate girl who knows exactly what she wants. I know that awful people exist, but there’s no way she would let anybody pressure her into anything, or be convinced that she owed anybody… sex.”

It wasn’t a word they were used to associating with their daughter. They knew that she was growing up, and they were so determined to be frank and open and honest – cool dads – but she was still their baby girl. The rest of the world wouldn’t always live up to the beliefs they’d raised her with.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said, I know, but- she must understand what I mean. She must know it’s just because I love her.”

Kurt stroked Blaine’s knee where it was folded up in his lap, and kissed his hair absent-mindedly.

“I think it’s a little like how I used to dress when I was in high school. I knew it got too much attention and it would probably get me beaten up, but that wasn’t my problem. It was everyone else’s. I know I could have just worn ugly, ill-fitting jeans and-” he had to swallow before he could say it, “flannel… but then I wouldn’t have felt right. Like I was changing my behaviour for the people who made my life hell. They didn’t deserve that.”

“I know. I know all of that.”

“I know you do. Rachel tried to explain this to me once. What it’s like for girls. Did you know guys in trucks and stuff beep at them on the street? Totally unprovoked, unwanted attacks.”

“What? But- that’s gross. That’s never happened to Sophie.”

“I bet it has. It’s just so normal for girls her age that she doesn’t think it’s worth mentioning.”

“Oh, god. That’s disgusting. Poor Sophie.”

“Rachel used to walk with keys between her fingers. So she could really hurt anybody who tried to grab her.”

“Shit.”

“And she always kept an eye out for which houses had lights on, so if somebody started following her she could go someplace without leading them to our house. She constantly had a plan in her head, just in case. Maybe we can never really understand what it’s like. We’ve been scared, but when stuff happened to us we always knew it wasn’t our fault. Nobody asked us what we were wearing when somebody beat us up.”

Blaine’s face fell.

“I’m awful. Kurt, I’m garbage. She’s right; I’m the worst dad ever.”

“No, honey. You care. You want to fix this right? You want to make it better?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then you’re gonna be fine. And so is Sophie. As long as we both work on it. We’ll talk to her, okay?”

Blaine nodded eagerly, grabbed the ice cream and tucked himself into Kurt’s side.

***

Blaine was upstairs when she got home. It was barely past eleven. Kurt was sitting on the couch waiting for her.

“Hey, sweetie.”

“Could you not yell at me please? I just want to go to bed.”

Kurt frowned.

“Yell-free zone, I promise. Something wrong?”

She sniffed.

“I- I don’t know. It was just a weird night.”

“You know your dad’s sorry, right? He knows he screwed up, and honey, if anybody says one bad thing about that skirt then they’ll have me to deal with, because it’s adorable.”

She smiled, but it didn’t last long. She started to edge towards to couch.

“I don’t think I’m going to wear it again.”

Kurt’s heart started to beat faster.

“What happened?”

Blaine was waiting at the top of the stairs, listening. Something was different about her from earlier. She looked shaken up. He figured she would just want Kurt right now.

“It was probably nothing. I’m okay.”

“Come here. Talk to me. We’ll see if it’s nothing.”

She slunk towards him, tugging her jacket a little tighter around her shoulders, and sat next to her father, further away from him than usual.

“You’re probably going to get a phone call about it anyway. There was kind of an incident.”

“Baby, I told you, running that worldwide drug operation was going to catch up with you eventually…”

She couldn’t help sniggering.

“It’s just- this guy, he’s normally so sweet, but he’d had a couple of drinks, and we were just talking, but-”

Kurt grabbed her hand.

“Who? What did he do? Where does he live? We’ll kick his ass-”

“He just… he said a couple of things that made me feel weird, and he put his hand on my leg. Stacey said I should have just gone with it, because he is kinda cute, and it’s not exactly attractive to cause a scene apparently, but I- I didn’t like it. I was just talking to him, you know? Talking to him and laughing at one of his stupid jokes – seriously, one, because the rest sucked, but still – I told him that doesn’t give him the right to touch me.”

“You’re damn right it doesn’t. So give me this kid’s address, and your dad and I-”

“No, no, you really don’t have to. He didn’t move his hand, so I punched him in the nose.”

“Jesus, Sophie-”

“And then he called me a bitch for leading him on, so I punched him again. Now he’s missing his four front teeth and he looks like a vampire. And not a sexy one. Daddy, I’m so sorry, I know that violence is wrong and you always said to be calm about stuff like this, but I-”

Blaine almost tripped running down the stairs, and he and Kurt collided as they grabbed her into a hug.

“Sophie,” Blaine whispered, “don’t you dare apologise.”

“Sweetheart, we are so so proud of you.”

“But,” she argued, muffled by the sweaters enveloping her, “but I hit somebody.”

“You hit somebody who was being a tool. If somebody treats you with anything less than pure respect and adoration and the kind of reverence usually saved for gods, then they deserve to lose a couple of teeth. A little rage to defend yourself is more than okay.”

She looked up at Blaine, blinking a tear away.

“Really?”

“Totally. You are a queen, and you should be treated as such. And you should absolutely punch any pathetic boys who don’t understand that. So you should probably punch me.”

“No, Dad-”

“Yes. Don’t let anybody tell you how to dress, or how to react to unwanted advances, and please don’t ever ever feel like it matters what boys want you to be like.”

“Darling, I know we told how important it is to be polite, and when people are polite back to you, that still stands. But just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you have to put up with anything less than worship.”

She laughed and tucked her head under Blaine’s chin, squeezing Kurt’s hands on her knee.

“I’m sorry about what I said, Dad.”

“Not as sorry as me. Don’t listen to stupid boys like me ever again, okay?”

She giggled again.

“Never. I promise.”

“Good. Just. I’d really like it if you didn’t hit me, please. I like my teeth.”

“We’ll see.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I saw [this picture](http://legallyblained.tumblr.com/post/43846281671) and this happened?

"What’s wrong with me then, Doctor?"

The attending physician frowned, deep in thought, as she held a stethoscope to her father’s nose. Her pyjamas were covered by one of his white shirts.

"It’s no good. We’re gonna have to take it off."

"My nose?"

"Your head. Sorry Mister Daddy. Try not to cry or I’ll have to put you to sleep with a hammer."

”Well, I don’t want that. I’ll be brave.”

"Good. You can have a sticker for being a big boy."

She peeled another sticker off the sheet, a dolphin this time, a stuck it to Blaine’s cheek.

"Wow. How many diseases is that now, honey?"

Sophie’s brow furrowed as she counted the animals on his face.

"Twelve. Lie down, Daddy, you’re having your head animated."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"No, wait. Can you do my pigtails again? One of them’s coming loose."

Blaine hauled himself up and pulled her onto his lap, gently unravelling her hair and plaiting it again.

"Hey Dad," he called out, "how long until lunch? I think the doctor’s getting hungry."

"Oh, a while yet. Better find another disease for her to diagnose."

Blaine huffed. He could hear the teasing lilt in Kurt’s voice.

"Honey, why don’t I pretend to be the doctor for a minute? I’m running out of ways to be sick over here."

"No." Her expression was like thunder. "You don’t have the certificates." She pointed to the crayon diploma on the coffee table.

"Of course. Wait. How long has Atticus been acting like that?"

She looked at the bullmastiff lying by the fire, calmly watching events unfold by the couch.

"Always. He’s looked like that for my whole life."

Blaine narrowed his eyes at her.

"Are you sure? Are you sure there isn’t something different about him today?"

"Hmm. I’ll go check him out. You can be the nurse for now."

"Thanks, baby." She threw him a glare. "Sorry. Doctor."

"Come on, Atticus," she said as she heaved him onto his side. "I have to check your tummy."

Blaine could have sworn he saw the dog roll his eyes as he flomped over.

"Sweetheart, be careful. How would you like it if somebody came along while you were sleeping and pushed you over?"

"Daddy, this is more serious than that. He could be dying. If someone pushed me over to save my life, I’d give them a hug."

"Okay. Good point." It was good. He couldn’t argue. He shrugged apologetically at the dog.

"Okay. I can hear his heartbeat."

"That’s good."

"I can hear more heartbeats. Daddy, he’s having puppies."

"Oh… well, that’s wonderful, isn’t it?"

"No. I’m not a vet. I’m a doctor. I can’t help him have puppies. Wait."

She put the stethoscope down and ran to her room. Blaine stroked the dog’s side. Atticus raised his head for a second to look at him, before carefully placing it on the floor again.

"What’s this about puppies? I said one dog, Blaine. One low maintenance dog that’s too lazy to climb on anything. No puppies."

"We’re not having puppies. He is."

"He… okay. As long as I don’t have to walk them."

They grinned at each other, and Sophie ran back in, almost colliding with Kurt.

"Stand back, this is an emergency! Don’t worry," she thrust a piece of paper under Blaine’s nose. "I’m a vet too now." He looked down to see the words ‘SOPHIE IS A VET’ in red. She also had a bunch of stuffed animals under her arm. "Take deep breaths, sir! These puppies are going to come out of your tummy and they’re going to hurt!"

Blaine wasn’t entirely sure where she’d gotten this information from. He couldn’t remember giving her any talks about where babies came from. Maybe she’d overheard one of the girls talking about labour. It didn’t matter right now. There was an emergency at hand,

"Doctor Vet Sophie, is there anything I can do?"

"Hold my stethoscope!"

"What do you say?"

"Hold my stethoscope _please_ , nurse!” Blaine did as he was told. Sophie shoved the toys behind the dog and pulled one out dramatically, holding it above her head in triumph. “Puppy number one!” She produced another. “Two!” She passed them both to Blaine.

"How many are back- I mean, in there, Sophie?"

She knelt over to count them.

"Three. Okay, here’s another one, push Atticus! There!"

This time she held up a stuffed duck.

"Sophie-"

"Not now, nurse, number four is coming! And five! Both at once!"

They were an octopus and a horse.

"You did it, Sophie! They’re all safe!"

"There you go, Atticus." She laid them all in front of him. He took very little interest. "Phew. That was hard work. Atticus was even braver than you, Daddy."

"I know. And I only had to have one head cut off. He had five whole babies."

"Who’s hungry?" Kurt asked from the doorway. "This sounds like hard work. Better have a big dinner, right, sweetie?"

Sophie beamed at him.

"Yes, please, Dad."

They sat at the table, tucking into the stir-fry Blaine was sure didn’t take an hour to prepare.

"Honey, couldn’t you find your other dogs?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Atticus is a dog. Wouldn’t his babies be dogs too?"

She looked at Blaine as if he were talking gibberish.

"That doesn’t matter."

Kurt and Blaine smiled.

"Why not, sweetheart?"

"It doesn’t matter if they don’t look the same. They’re still a family because he loves them and he’s going to look after them."

Blaine looked over his shoulder at the dog surrounded by toys. He was slobbering on one of them.

"I’m sure he is. Families are all about love, aren’t they, Soph?"

She nodded.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you ask me that?"

"I was just wondering."

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Atticus is a boy dog. Boys can’t have babies. Why didn’t you ask me about that?"

"Oh. Well, I wasn’t sure if you knew."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Everybody knows that. I’m not stupid. You didn’t have me, silly. Don’t you remember?”

"No, I remember. But we’ve got you now and that’s all that matters. Because we love you very much."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. Kurt and Blaine smiled at each other.

" _Yes_ , Daddy."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is a little boy with a big, important secret.

“Blaine, you have to keep stirring it…”

“I know, I know, I am-” Blaine cut Kurt off, still not stirring the sauce. It was the only cooking Kurt would let him do, but he was far too busy nuzzling into his neck, pressing himself against his back, feeling the muscles flex ever so slightly under his shirt and waistcoat as he chopped another onion. Some men would change into something more casual when they got home, but Blaine thanked God he hadn’t married one of them.

“But I need to get these chopped and in the pan, my eyes are already streaming-“

“Don’t care. This is keeping me warm.” He lazily reached for the wooden spoon sticking out of then pan, almost knocking the whole thing off the stove. He gave it a couple of quick stirs and returned his arm to Kurt’s waist, wrapping himself around him even tighter. “There, all done. Hmmmmm.” Kurt shivered as Blaine breathed onto his neck, squirming slightly in an attempt at protest, but it only let Blaine rub his nose against him and hold him closer. Not that Kurt minded. He put the knife down, turning to face Blaine, sliding a hand onto his waist, and just as he leaned forward to kiss him, they were interrupted by a voice.

“Dad?” They both turned to see Alex standing timidly, his feet pointing awkwardly towards each other, wringing his hands. Kurt and Blaine had both been worried about him the last couple of weeks. He was still smiling the same smile, all freckly and slightly wonky teeth and glasses making his big, blue eyes look bigger and bluer, but he had been so quiet recently. Seven years old was too young for teenage angst, surely? They immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to face him, Kurt instinctively pushing the knife further away so Alex couldn’t reach it and hurt himself, and Blaine rushing to kneel in front of him, brushing his floppy, sandy hair out of his eyes and holding his hand, smiling his most comforting smile.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asked, resisting the urge to just sweep him up into a hug and fly him around the kitchen. He missed being able to do that and make everything better. Alex sniffed, his breath catching slightly, his eyes glued to the floor. Kurt felt a pain in his chest. What could be hurting him this much? A thousand thoughts flashed through his mind: was he being bullied? Was he struggling at school? He started trying to think of ways to fix whatever was wrong.

“Honey, you know we’ll do anything we can to help you. Is it something to do with school?” Kurt knelt at Blaine’s side, taking Alex’s other hand and rubbing his back. Alex glanced up at them both, before returning his gaze to the ground.

“Kind of.” He rubbed one foot against the other. He was obviously torn up. “It’s… I, um… I-” He mustered up all the courage he could, and looked each of his fathers in turn. They looked back, both smiling warmly and softly. “You know how you two love each other?” They both had to try hard not to grin. Blaine put a hand on Kurt’s back, but they just about kept straight faces. Alex needed to know they were taking him seriously. Alex sniffed again, and a tear rolled down his cheek, making any hint of a smile disappear from his dads’ faces. They both felt lost. It was their job to keep him away from pain, but this… No. Blaine raised his hand towards Kurt’s shoulder, squeezing it tight so he wouldn’t do it to Alex’s hand. Kurt wiped the tear away with his thumb.

“Yeah, of course we do. Why?”

“Well…” His breathing was laboured now as he fought back sobs. “I… I think I love someone.” Kurt and Blaine frowned, growing even more concerned.

“Alex, why is that a bad thing?” Blaine asked. “Being in love just makes us happy. And it’s why we’ve got you and your sister. Who is it you like?”

“That’s the thing,” the little boy went on, his hands shaking as his parents held them, “It’s not like you two. It’s a girl. I love a girl the way you love Daddy. Is that bad?” Blaine had to bite his lip; he wasn’t sure if he was trying not to laugh or cry. It was gut-wrenching to see Alex this tortured, but the idea that him being in love could make them anything but happy was ridiculous. He glanced at Kurt, and he was obviously thinking the same thing. Blaine kept hold of his hand, as Kurt stood, simultaneously sweeping Alex off the floor. They were both glad he wasn’t too big for this yet. Blaine let Kurt do the talking, as he stroked and kissed Alex’s hair.

“Listen. We love you more than anything in the whole world. People used to get angry with us for loving each other, but it didn’t matter, because everyone who cared about us, everyone who was important to us, they would love us no matter what.”

“OK.” Another hard sniff.

“No, baby. More than OK. If you love someone, a boy or a girl or anyone, it’s fantastic. We always just want you to be happy.” Sophie started crying upstairs.

“I’ve got it,” Blaine said, “Just remember how much we love you, OK sweetie?” He stooped a little so he could look him in the eyes, which were just poking out over Kurt’s shoulder, his arms stretched around him as far as they would go. He nodded, then took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes against Kurt’s shirt to dry his tears. “Good. Whoever this girl is, she’s lucky to have such a special boy like her, OK?” Alex nodded again, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. Blaine grinned at him, stroking his hair again and kissing him on the forehead before running upstairs.

“Alex, why did you think we’d be upset?”

“Because you always hug each other and kiss each other and hold hands, and wouldn’t it be weird if a boy did that with a girl?”

“Well, what about Grandma and Grandpa? And Uncle Finn and Aunt Rachel? They’re boys and girls, and they do all that stuff, and it’s not weird.” Alex pulled back to look at his father.

“It is. They’re gross.”

“And you don’t think Daddy and I are gross?”

“Not like them. I don’t know. I just thought you’d want me to be like you. And you don’t like girls.” Kurt hoisted Alex up on his hip and pressed his own nose against the tiny one belonging to his son.

“Woah there. You look at me. The only person we want you to be is Alex. You are perfect to us, no matter what you do or who you love.”

“And what on Earth makes you think we don’t like girls?” They turned to see Blaine holding Sophie, who was gurgling and sucking on his little finger. He couldn’t resist pulling faces at her, making her giggle.

“See? She’s a girl, and we love her just as much as we love you. We all love Sophie, don’t we?” Alex nodded again, smiling at his little sister. She didn’t really do much, but he liked being her big brother. Even when she drooled on everything and cried a lot. He felt important when she looked up at him, just like she was now.

“Now,” Blaine cut in, tearing his gaze away from the baby and smiling at his son and husband, “We just need to know about your girl. If she doesn’t like you back, she’s crazy.”

Kurt nuzzled into Alex’s neck, making him squeal with laughter, while Blaine allowed himself a sigh and a stare at his little family before fetching a bottle for the baby. He’d imagined a lot of scenarios for himself and Kurt as parents. But their son dramatically stepping into the closet wasn’t one of them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine think Sophie is hiding something from them.

“Kurt, I’m trying to read.”

“This is important.”

Blaine closes his book and sets it down on his night stand with a sigh.

“It’s gonna happen soon. Stop worrying.”

“I don’t understand why it’s taking this long. Does she think we’ll mind?”

“Of course not. Kurt, one of our best friends is a lesbian.”

“And, you know, _we’re_ gay. Just FYI.”

Blaine laughs. They had an inkling when she was four, a big suspicion when she was eleven, and now that she’s fifteen they just know. She’s a little awkward around Alex and his girlfriend. Blaine’s overheard moments of silence during sleepovers when the other girls talk about boys and ask her who she likes. When she had to kiss a boy for the school play she’d really had to power through it. Kurt and Blaine have discussed it, and they want to let Sophie tell them she’s gay in her own time, because it’s a rite of passage and she needs to be ready, but it’s taking so _long_.

“I’m just worried. I thought she was going to tell us at Thanksgiving, when she said she had something to tell us-”

“And she ended up telling us she aced that Chemistry paper, I remember. And we were just as proud of her for that, weren’t we?”

Kurt sighs.

“Of course we were. But Blaine, what if she’s bottling everything up? What if she’s torturing herself over it? This is the first time she hasn’t come straight to us about something.”

“I know, but she will eventually. It’s not because she doesn’t trust us, or because she’s scared of anything. Even if she doesn’t tell us until she’s inviting us to her big lesbian wedding, we let her make that choice for herself.”

Kurt frowns and rests his head on Blaine’s shoulder, curling into his side. Blaine takes his glasses off, knowing he’s not getting back to his book tonight, and wraps an arm around him.

“I don’t want her to be scared about anything.”

“I know. But just try and remember how weird it all was when we were that age. Maybe she just wants to figure everything out for herself before she gets her embarrassing dads involved. I’m sure everything will be fine; we just need to let her know we’re here for her and we love her. That’s all we can ever do, honey.”

“Mmm. God, my husband’s so wise,” Kurt says, nuzzling against Blaine’s chest. “With the reading, and the glasses, and those grey hairs at your temples-”

Blaine jerks away.

“Those what? Where?” He tries to scramble out of bed to look in the mirror, but Kurt flops down onto him, pinning him down.

“Shush. They’re sexy. Distinguished.”

“But Kurt-”

“Nope. Don’t you dare leave this bed.”

Blaine takes a deep breath and slides further into bed, coiling both arms tighter around Kurt.

“Is it so sexy that you want to-”

He looks down to see Kurt’s eyes are already closed. He’s a little relieved. Not that he’s old or anything, obviously, but all he can manage right now is a sleepy cuddle. A young, vivacious, _exciting_ sleepy cuddle.

***

“So, sweetie, how was school today?”

Sophie doesn’t look up, just goes still and blushes a little.

“Oh. Fine. Had a sub for English, so I couldn’t ask Miss Harris for help with my paper, but she’ll be back tomorrow. I’ll ask her then.”

“That’s good. You’re sure I can’t help?”

“No- I mean, she knows how they grade them, so.”

“Right, right,” Kurt says. “Everything else okay?”

“Um. There’s a thing. Like, not a big thing, but…”

“It’s okay, honey,” Blaine encourages, “you can tell us.”

She looks from one father to the other, then at her brother, who’s watching their awkward little scene unfold. He gives her a casual shrug.

“It doesn’t matter. Just- I’m, uh, thinking about getting my hair cut. Not too short, just something different.”

“Okay, Soph. You know,” Kurt says, “if you do want it short, that’s fine with us.” Alex rolls his eyes. How could three gay people at one table be so damn coy about their gayness?

Sophie swallows.

“Yeah?”

Blaine takes her hand.

“Of course. You’d be beautiful either way.”

She sits up a little straighter in her chair.

“Actually, there is another thing. There’s this- you know Zoe? In my class?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Well, she- we-” she takes a deep breath and looks at the three expectant faces staring at her. “You know, don’t you?”

“Know what, darling?” Blaine asks, the picture of innocence.

“Yeah, we know. It’s cool,” Alex interrupts. Kurt tries to kick him under the table, but hits Blaine instead.

“Ow!”

“Sorry- look, sweetheart, you know it’s fine, don’t you? And I mean, if you tell us you’re not-”

“I’m telling you I am, dummies. If you knew then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, we- we thought you should do it in your own time. We didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”

“Is there any reason you waited to tell us?” Kurt asks, anxious to make sure she doesn’t feel ashamed or awkward.

“Gee, I can’t imagine why she’d feel weird telling her gay dads that she wants to have sex with girls,” Alex drawls in that annoying teenager voice that he only uses when his dads are being particularly dense. Sophie’s cheeks go furiously pink and she stares at her plate. Oh. Suddenly it all falls into place. It isn’t about being gay. It’s about not being their innocent baby girl any more. Alex grins, stacks the plates and goes to wash up, pausing to kiss Sophie on the side of her head. “Love you, Soph. I’m proud of you.”

She smiles shyly, still blushing.

Blaine takes a breath, still holding onto Sophie’s hand.

“It’s totally okay, Sophie. It’s normal to have those kinds of feelings at your age. Is there anything you want to ask us about?”

She holds in a laugh.

“No offence, guys, but this really isn’t your area.”

“Oh. Yeah. We could call Santana?” The idea immediately makes Kurt wince. There’s friendly advice and education, then there’s just plain old corruption.

“God, no. I don’t think I can handle her ‘welcome to the team’ speech just yet. Don’t worry, I know what’s what. Sex Ed at my school is pretty good.”

Kurt and Blaine smile at each other. At least things have gotten better since they were at school. Blaine stands up while Kurt quietly tries to remember a conversation he had with his dad at sixteen.

“I’m gonna go help your brother with the dishes. I’m so proud of you, Sophie. You know, just because we’re- _us_ , it doesn’t make this any less brave. We all love you.”

He hugs her and strokes her hair.

“I love you too, Dad,” she says with a sigh and an eye-roll, but she’s grinning.

Kurt keeps smiling at both of them, and when Blaine leaves he scoots his chair closer to Sophie.

“Look, honey, I know there’s not much I can teach you about… the mechanics of what you might do…” god, he sounds as hopeless as his own father, “but I can help with the whole- feelings side of it.”

She narrows her eyes a little, worried about just how sappy this could get.

“Yeah?”

“Well, I- what you might not realise is that sex isn’t- it isn’t just a physical thing. There are a lot of complex emotions involved, and it makes you totally vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, it can be so nice, but it’s scary too.” She tries not to roll her eyes. “I mean, it’s more about, you know, feelings. Connecting to another person.”

Sophie pats Kurt’s hand where it’s holding hers.

“I know, Dad.”

“But Sophie-”

“Dad.”

“When you’re a teenager-”

“I’m a girl, Dad. I’m probably more emotionally mature now than you were when you got married. I’m gonna be fine.”

“Oh. Yeah. I just want you to know that- um- you matter.”

She laughs.

“You’ve told me I matter every week since I was two. Thanks for trying. And it’s way too early to be thinking about that, anyway. We only just kissed this afternoon.”

All thoughts of responsibility and maturity fly out of the window.

“You kissed? Oh my God, when? Where? Who kissed who? How did it happen – did you say anything? Did she? Is she your girlfriend?”

“Oh my god,” she giggles, “we kind of hung back after glee club,” Kurt beams, amazed that his daughter has met someone the same way he did, “and we were talking about songs and choreography, and she said something about us doing a duet together, and I just- kissed her.”

She can’t contain her smile, all teeth and dimples and looking so much like Blaine, and suddenly Kurt feels like he’s at a sleepover with the girls, desperate to make them both hot chocolate and talk about kissing and clothes and glee club. He tries to restrain himself.

“And how- was it- nice?”

She pauses, taking a breath, and nods eagerly.

“She’s… I really like her, Dad.”

Kurt grabs her into a hug and kisses her cheek.

“I’m not freaking out, okay? I don’t care if it’s boys or girls or both. You never have to pretend not to feel things for our benefit.”

“I know, really, but-”

“It doesn’t make you any less our little girl.”

He doesn’t have to say it, not really, but she can’t help being glad he did.

“Okay. Thanks.”

He stands up, picking up his glass of wine, keeping a hold of her hand.

“You wanna watch a movie with us?”

“Not tonight. I’ve got homework.”

“Sure. Not going upstairs to call Zoe?”

She blushes again.

“Maybe.”

“Okay. Well, if you ever want to talk about stuff, or have her over for dinner or anything-”

“I know. Love you, Dad.”

“You too. Night, babe.”

“Night,” she says with an excited smile, running upstairs, phone already in her hand.

Kurt sighs happily and goes into the living room where Blaine’s sprawled on the sofa, a different book in his hand than the previous night. He can never stick to one at a time. He snaps it shut and smiles at Kurt eagerly.

“Everything okay? I hope it’s alright that I left you to it; I didn’t think we should crowd her. You seemed like you had everything under control.”

“She’s good. Our little girl has a girlfriend.”

“Shit.”

“I know,” Kurt flomps down on the couch next to Blaine, his head finding its usual place on his husband’s chest. “That makes us, like, sixty, right?”

Blaine shifts a little so that Kurt is nestled between his legs, and teases tufts of hair between his fingers.

“I still remember her first day of school, and her first steps, and the first time she sang-”

“Blaine, don’t. You know I’ll start sobbing.”

“They’re growing up.”

“We all are.”

“Not funny. I’ll dye your hair grey in your sleep.”

He laughs.

“Sorry, sorry. Do you ever just think- our kids are so great, aren’t they? Even the straight one.” Blaine laughs. “I just really really like them. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think I’d like them even if I didn’t have to.”

“Same. Well done us.” He presses a kiss into Kurt’s hair. “Thanks for having them with me.”

Kurt pulls Blaine’s arm around himself.

“I wouldn’t do it with anybody else.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie asks Santana for sex advice.

Santana would never admit it to Kurt or Blaine, but babysitting for them was never really work. Even when they were little, Alex and Sophie were always so easy to take care of; they never pestered her for candy (even though she’d secretly always bought some especially) or got too loud or annoying. It was almost like spending an evening with a couple of adults. They were usually more mature than either of their fathers. She hadn’t had to do it as much recently, now that Alex was old enough to take care of both of them, but tonight he was out. Dani was staying at her brother’s for the weekend, so it was just Santana and Sophie, and she couldn’t deny she was pretty excited about it. It had been way too long since they’d had a sleepover together.

“I can’t believe that dorky big brother of yours has a girlfriend. How long’s that been going on?”

“Um…” Sophie narrowed her eyes and counted on her fingers. “It must be almost six months, I guess.”

“You’re kidding. Man, everything moves so- wow. I sound old. Never mind. So,” she crumbled a cookie up over their bowls of ice cream before reaching for the chocolate syrup (she was that kind of aunt, apparently), “what’s new with you, Soph? Dads driving you crazy? Tonnes of homework? Hey, are you still in glee club?”

Sophie blushed a little.

“Mm-hmm.”

Santana grinned and raised an eyebrow.

“Ooh, that sounds promising. To the couch.”

Her apartment really was gorgeous. No kids meant no mess and beautiful furniture because there was nobody there to destroy it. So many reds and blacks and velvets and silks, every chair and table and ornament a work of art. Sophie wishes she could live somewhere like this. Apparently her dads used to live here too, before they were married, with Santana and Aunt Rachel, but it was half the size. When people started getting married and buying ‘proper’ places to live, Santana just ditched the curtains separating the rooms and bought the adjoining loft and made it a real home for her and Dani. They’d been informally engaged for as long as Sophie could remember, but there was never any rush. They were always so secure and comfortable as they were that they weren’t worried about a piece of paper confirming what they already knew. Not that there was anything wrong with the way Kurt and Blaine had wanted the big, beautiful wedding and the traditional family, but that had never been Santana’s style. Anyway, they had enough parties that turned into sappy declarations of love for each other every month to make up for the lack of formal ceremony.

They both folded their legs on the sofa as they sat down, bowls of ice cream in their laps, and Santana looked fondly at her niece. She was quieter than usual, and there was clearly something she wanted to talk about.

“Lay it on me.”

“Well. There’s someone. At glee club.”

Santana knew. She knew Sophie was gay before Kurt and Blaine did, and they’d already told her about Zoe, but she was under strict instructions not to tell her they’d mentioned it.

“Uh-huh. And do you… like them?”

“You could say that. You could also say I’ve been dating her for months and I’m in love with her and I want to have sex with her but I really don’t want to talk to my dads about it.”

Santana smirked before putting her semi-responsible aunt face back on. To be fair, that was still a little bit smirky.

“Oh, honey, you know they’ll be totally happy to talk to you about it. You don’t need to feel uncomfortable.”

Sophie rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Yes, I do. Don’t get me wrong, they’ve made it very clear that they’re happy to talk to me about anything, but they’re my dads. I don’t want to talk to them about sex.”

It was all Santana could do to hold back a cackle. They’d been so confident that they were going to be amazing, progressive parents. Their parents had been so uncomfortable talking to them about sex that they’d been determined to be the complete opposite. Their intentions were good, and Santana would always gladly admit that they were wonderful parents, but they’d never taken into account that not all kids actually want to talk to their gay dads about sex. Especially sex between two girls.

“Well. I’m sure they’d do some research for you. Or something.”

Sophie grimaced.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate the way they are, okay? I know they’d try their best, but… what the hell do they know about vaginas?”

Santana shrieked. The little girl she’d known since she was born, her goddaughter, was coming to her for advice on how to have sex with girls. She’d never felt so proud.

“Well, yeah. To be honest, I thought you’d have come to me a lot sooner.”

“But they told me-”

Sophie cut herself off. Santana narrowed her eyes.

“They told you what?”

“Nothing.”

“Sophie.”

“They said not to talk to you about it. They thought- they thought you’d say something inappropriate.”

“Aha. Of course. Something along the lines of ‘screw everything in a five mile radius’, right?”

“Maybe.”

Santana thought for a second. When she was Sophie’s age, she probably would have said something along those lines. It had all been so different for her. She’d spent years arguing with herself, squashing feelings that grew stronger every time Brittany smiled at her. Getting through quickies with Puckerman hoping maybe this time it would be different, maybe it would be more than just a response to physical stimulation. Maybe she’d give a shit. She never did, until she was with Brittany. Even when she’d moved to New York, out and proud and ready to get lots of lady action, it wasn’t until she met Dani that she felt that again. She’d tried to be carefree and adventurous, but she was always happiest when she had a girlfriend.

“You know what, Soph. They were right. You’re sixteen, you’re gorgeous, and you should have as much sex as you can.” Sophie frowned. “With someone you care about.” That got an eye-roll. Screw biology – when she did that, she was the spitting image of Kurt.

“God, you’re as bad as them.”

“But I have a lot more crappy experiences to go on. You’re a smart girl, Sophie. Sex is- it’s the most vulnerable you’re ever going to be with someone. You can either make yourself not give a shit, or you can make it special. When I was with my first girlfriend, after I’d been with a tonne of different guys, it was like- like I finally got what the big deal was. I thought sex was just something you had to get through, not something that could really make you feel- connected to someone.”

“I know. I’ve heard all of this, like a million times. If Dad tells me I matter one more time I’m going to scream.”

Santana took a breath. Had she really just said all of that?

“Sorry. Well- do you have any questions about- anything?”

Sophie steeled herself, her jaw setting just like Blaine’s.

“I- I want to be good. It want _it_ to be good.”

“Oh. _Oh_. You- you want sex tips?”

“Yeah. Like- where do I start? What do I do?”

Santana grinned. God, she could give her some really advanced advice… but the best thing about everything she knew she liked was discovering it for herself. A little bit of cluelessness was necessary.

“That’s probably something you and Zoe should figure out for yourselves.” Sophie sighed a little shakily. She could act annoyed and pretend she was too mature for the ‘it’s-better-with-feelings’ talk, but she was obviously nervous. Santana felt a swelling of sympathy in her chest, understanding the feeling. It was still scary sometimes, how much of her Dani got to see, how deeply she knew her. A good kind of scary. “Hey, at least you’ve got the home field advantage.”

“What?”

“You know how all the equipment works. You know what you’re working with. Just think about what you’d like someone to do to you and figure out what feels right.” Sophie wrinkled her nose. “And talk to her. Best way to find out what she wants is asking her. Eventually you’ll know what that is before she does.”

There was a pause. Sophie kind of stared straight ahead for a minute, glazing over a little, her forehead crinkled. Santana knew that exact expression. Poor girl must have had it bad. She picked up the can of whipped cream from the floor and squirted a blob on Sophie’s nose.

“Come on. Before it melts.”

Sophie snapped out of her daze and wiped the cream off her nose with a giggle.

“Right. Yeah. Um, Santana?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Thanks.”

Santana smiled, her mouth full of chocolatey goo.

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. If your dads ask, what did I say?”

“To have lots of sex.”

“Good girl.”

Kurt and Blaine embarrassed Sophie enough. Santana had to get revenge for her once in a while.


End file.
